Today and tomorrow are going to be two of the hardest days of my life. I helped Brian pack up to leave for Nashville this morning. He's shipping out to boot camp tomorrow. He has joined the United States Coast Guard and I am just about as proud of him as I can be, but IT IS KILLING ME!!!I'm VERY proud of him, but no matter how old he is, he is always gonna be my baby boy. He was my first, real, true love. I only thought I knew what love was until I had him. I told him tonight when I left Nashville that I already missed him - and I do! I missed him when he went to college, but at least I talked to him every day and could go see him whenever I wanted to. I think THAT'S what's KILLING me. It's the fact that I know that I can't even talk to him when I miss him... I can't even hear his voice... I can't jump in the car to go take care of him if he gets sick... There have been very few days since he's been alive that I haven't talked to him... I will get through this. I will do it for him. He's making a sacrifice, so I will just suck it up!
I go through so many gamuts of emotions: pride, sorrow, depression, joy, relief, pain... Sometimes, I'm fine. Sometimes, I'm not. Tonight after I got home, I went into his room. He left a pair of shorts lying in his chair... His laptop is on his bed right where he left it... I just LOST it! I couldn't stop crying until I called him. But after tomorrow, I won't be able to do that. I want him to be successful. I want him to go above and beyond. I KNOW this is going to be HARD, but I know he will be a better man for it. I've got some really good friends - especially Lee Ann - who have gone through this and talking to them helps me deal with it. I call her and she cries with me. And trust me, if you haven't gone through it, you don't understand. I tried to be there for her when her son joined the Marines, but I HAD NO IDEA! She knows and she's been a lifeline for me.
God, please protect my baby boy. Make him strong and help him to become the man that I know he can be. I love that boy.
Semper Paratus - Always Ready
13 comments:
Lee Ann sent me over.
Have faith, and stay strong. Your baby boy has grown into a man, and the Coast Guard will help him reach the top. It won't be easy, but with your support, he'll be a winner.
My first husband was a Marine, and those days and nights when he first went off to boot camp were THE WORST. But, we made it through, and you will, too.
Stay strong!
Thank you!!!
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement!!! I really appreciate them! This has just been so hard on me. Once "I get through boot camp" (LOL!), I think I will be FINE! I know I will still miss him terribly, but I can talk to him. It was just the three of us (me, Brian and his sister, Kristen) for so long and we are so close. Like I said in my blog, I've got to suck it up! That's what I would tell him! Gotta practice what I preach! LOL!
Thank you!
LeeAnn told me what's up. I remember when her Matt went to boot camp. He has become a Marine and a fine young man...an extension of what he was before.
You're going to be fine. Thank you for raising a young man who puts duty first. And thanks to Brian for his dedication to service.
Semper Paratus young man. I salute you.
Lee Ann sent me over too.
Everyone has pretty much covered everything. I know it's hard to watch your babies grow up and leave the nest. I have a feeling you have a wonderful friend in Lee Ann and you can lean on her for comfort and guidance. I so remember when Matt left and the roller coaster of feelings she went though. Find that support and hang onto it. It will serve you well.
Have a terrific day. Big hug. :)
Here via LeeAnn...
Much luck to Brian. His service to our country is a most wonderful thing.
My prayers go out to keep him safe.
And to his mama...you are sending your son into the world to safe guard all of us and for that your entire family is to be honored.
He will come home to you a man, but he will never stop being your 'little boy'!
I've seen so many pictures of you and read your comments back and forth to Lee Ann on FB that I feel like I know you a bit... I just wanted to stop by and add some hugs and prayers for you and good thoughts for your son.
I won't pretend to know how this must feel, but as a mom, I'll volunteer for worry duty.
*hugs*
Oh... and thank him for stepping up and joining, from a vet's daughter.
Thank you all for being so kind and supportive! It has really helped me get through the day!
Hi there! I'm a friend of Lee Ann's and I hear your son shipped out today. I have no idea what that must feel like but, if you are anything like Lee Ann, I know you will get through this. A little help from your friends and a whole lot of prayer can do wonders. Big hugs to you and your son.
Hi Mitzi!!
I saw your comment on the USCG blog :)
can you see your son in the picture???
I couldn't find my boyfriend :( hopefully they'll add more pics and videos soon!!!
I just got my letter yesterday from the USCG with their mailing address have you gotten yours?
Hi, Shayla! I can see my son in the picture! I was so excited! And I got my letter today.
I hope there are more pics/videos soon too! If you see your boyfriend, let me know!
YAY! That's so exciting that you got to see him!!!
DO you know if we are allowed to send pictures in our letters to them
????
I got my first letter today :) He only had 3 minutes to write it so it was short lol
:-D Hopefully you will get your letter on Friday, which is So wierd because you live in TN and I live in TX so you'd think it would be the other way around!!!
Tell me as soon as you get yours :D
I will be praying tonight that you letter will arrive shortly :-)
My b/f's name is Lee Fortenberry. He wants to be an AET so he has to be somewhere were there is an airbase we are praying for somewhere in the gulf (his brother is stationed in houston) and the closer he is the more we can see each other.
What is Brian wanting to do???
Post a Comment